Youth mental health: 10 ways to support your tweens and teens

Mental Health

May 26

Written By Calm Editorial Team

Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA

Discover what youth mental health looks like in tweens and teens, from early signs to emotional risk factors. Plus, 10 ways parents can support their kid's mental health.

Being a tween or teen in general is a wild ride, but being a tween or teen today? What a time. Not only are they going through puberty, discovering their identities, and balancing school, friendships, and extracurriculars, but they’re also doing it all in the age of social media. With life happening inside a pressure cooker, it’s no wonder kids are struggling more and more with their mental health.

It’s natural to want to say the right thing to help them navigate their lives with greater ease. But how can parents, caregivers, and teachers do that effectively?

The good news is that you don’t have to have all the answers. You just need to be present. What tweens and teens need most is someone who shows up, stays curious, and listens without trying to fix everything.

Here’s everything you need to know about what youth mental health really looks like, how to spot signs that something might be off, and ways to be a calm, empathetic force when things get rough.

Why youth mental health matters

Mental health is a major issue for young people, and it’s showing up in classrooms, group chats, bedrooms, and pediatricians’ offices everywhere.

The statistics around mental health issues in kids are sobering. Rates of anxiety, depression, and self-harm in tweens and teens have been rising steadily for over a decade, and the former U.S. surgeon general called the youth mental health crisis “the defining public health challenge of our time.”

Part of the issue is that young people are trying to cope with very adult issues before they’re fully able to. After all, the part of the brain responsible for decision-making, emotional regulation, and impulse control isn’t fully formed until you’re in your mid-20s. And still, they’re contending with typical teenage drama, but amid a constantly evolving digital landscape. That’s a lot.

Making matters more complicated, mental health challenges don’t always show up with dramatic warning signs. Sometimes they look like constant fatigue, irritability, or the once-chatty teen who suddenly lives in their hoodie and avoids eye contact.

And while teenage angst can often resolve itself over time, untreated mental health struggles in adolescence can snowball into long-term issues in adulthood. They can create issues that impact everything from relationships and work to physical health and overall satisfaction with life in general. But with support, empathy, and early intervention, there’s hope on the other side.

So while you don’t need to panic, you do need to pay attention. Because how we show up for tweens and teens now can shape how they show up for themselves and others forever.

12 symptoms of mental health struggles in teens and tweens

Mental health challenges can be tough to spot, because they’re subtle, and the signs can look different depending on whether you’re dealing with a tween or a teen.

How mental health struggles often show up in tweens (ages 8–12)

Tweens often feel in limbo when it comes to their age. They’re not little kids anymore, but they’re not quite teens. They’re learning to understand their emotions, but don’t always have the words for what’s going on inside. So, emotional distress may tend to spill out in unexpected ways.

Here’s what to watch for:

Physical complaints with no clear cause: They could complain of headaches, stomachaches, or generally feeling unwell without a medical explanation.
Emotional outbursts or regressions: They might have meltdowns that seem too big for the situation, or act immaturely when things feel overwhelming.
Increased clinginess or social withdrawal: Suddenly, they might refuse to go to school, avoid friends, or start clinging to you in public or at home.
Perfectionism or fear of making mistakes: Kids often put intense pressure on themselves to do things “right,” thanks to anxiety they can’t name yet.
Trouble concentrating or restlessness: They might have difficulty focusing in class, continually forget things, or find themselves bouncing off the walls.
Changes in eating, sleeping, or general routine: A change in basic habits or routine can be a sign that something’s up.

How mental health struggles often show up in teens (ages 13–19)

Teenagers are moody because of their fluctuating hormones, identity development, and a growing brain. All of these factors contribute to the emotional rollercoaster. But when the dips in emotions get deeper or last longer, it’s time to take a closer look.

Here’s what to keep an eye on:

Persistent sadness, irritability, or anger: They might be down for days, lashing out more often, or shutting down completely.
Isolation or pulling away from friends and family: Teens like their alone time, but fully ghosting everyone could be a red flag.
Dramatic changes in sleep, appetite, or appearance: Sleeping all the time or not at all, skipping meals or overeating, neglecting hygiene, or suddenly being overly harsh about their body might be signs of trouble.
Drop in school performance or motivation: They might stop caring about grades, ditching assignments, or losing interest in activities they once loved.
Risky or impulsive behavior: Substance use, unsafe sex, and reckless driving are signs that something might be wrong.
Self-harm or talk of hopelessness: If they mention feeling worthless, like a burden, or wishing they could disappear, take it seriously, even if they insist that they’re joking.

What factors shape mental wellbeing in children and teens?

Mental health issues don’t solely come from a person’s brain chemistry, although some do. Mental health issues may also be shaped by what’s happening around them, to them, and inside them. For tweens and teens, who are already dealing with wild hormones, identity shifts, and social landmines, the world can feel both energizing and exhausting.

Here are some of the biggest factors that shape mental wellbeing in young people.

Family environment

The vibe at home matters. Kids pick up on tension and discord, even when it’s silent. Divorce, financial stress, a sick family member, unspoken trauma, toxic family members, or just plain lack of connection can all create emotional ripple effects. But even in the messiest households, one stable, loving adult can be a powerful protective factor. You don’t have to be perfect. Kids just need someone to be there for them.

School pressure

School is overwhelming for many people. For some kids, this pressure is internal (“I have to be the best”), but for others, it’s external (“If I fail, I’m letting everyone down”). Either way, doing well in school can be a huge source of anxiety, and it’s often overlooked because it’s so normalized.

Social media and technology

While social media can help young people build connections and express themselves, it can also lead to bullying and comparisons. The pressure to curate a perfect image while managing a messy offline life is a uniquely modern burden. Even the most grounded teen can get caught in a spiral of likes, DMs, and algorithm-induced overstimulation. So, it’s important to monitor.

Friendships and peer dynamics

Middle and high school can feel like one long audition to be liked. And for kids who are left out, bullied, or just don’t “fit the mold,” that social exclusion and isolation can be devastating. Tweens, in particular, are wired for belonging. If they feel like they don’t have a place, it can affect their whole sense of self.

Identity and self-expression

These are the years when kids start asking themselves who they are, and the answers aren’t always straightforward. Understanding their gender identity, sexuality, race, culture, or even just their role in a friend group can stir up deep feelings, especially if they don’t feel safe being themselves.

Trauma and life events

Grief, abuse, neglect, medical diagnoses, moving to a new city or school, and even something like a best friend moving away can feel like a huge loss. These experiences can significantly impact a young person, especially if they don’t have the tools or support to process what happened.

Brain development and biology

Mental health disorders like depression, anxiety, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) often emerge or intensify during adolescence. Hormones, sleep changes, and neurological development all add to the emotional volatility of the tween and teen years.

10 ways adults can support young people’s mental health

Supporting a tween or teen through emotional struggles can feel like an impossible and intimidating task. You want to say the right thing, but it’s tough to know what that is.

Just remember that small, steady actions matter more than sweeping fixes. Below are 10 real-world ways to support the young people in your life, even when it’s messy and imperfect.

1. Prioritize connection over correction

Before you jump in with advice, check in. Ask, “What’s going on for you right now?” or “How can I support you?” Try listening without the urge to offer help right away.

Try this: Instead of “Why didn’t you do your homework?” try “You seem to have trouble focusing tonight. Do you want to talk about your day?”

💙 Learn more about how active Listening can improve your relationships with others and build connections.

2. Create consistent rituals for check-ins

Young people don’t always open up at the most convenient time. They tend to talk when they feel safe in regular life moments, like during car rides, bedtime, or when you’re cooking. Create low-pressure rituals or opportunities to check in regularly and remind your child that they’re safe talking to you.

Try this: A fun, weekly tech-free dinner or a short bedtime question like “What’s one high and one low from today?” might help them open up.

3. Model emotional honesty (but keep your boundaries)

Showing your own vulnerability, within reason, may help build trust between you and your child. If you’re stressed, say so. If therapy has helped you, say that too. But keep it age-appropriate. This is about showing it’s okay to feel things, not making them your therapist.

Try this: “I had a rough day, too. I’m working on being kinder to myself when things don’t go as planned.”

4. Respect their privacy, but don’t disappear

Tweens and teens navigating intense emotions need space, yes. But they also need to know you haven’t checked out. Knock on their bedroom door before entering. Don’t read their text messages or journal entries. But do keep asking how they’re doing, even if it feels like talking to a wall. Silence doesn’t always mean disinterest. It can tell they’re still inching toward trust and being honest with you.

5. Learn the difference between a bad mood and a red flag

Teens will be moody. Tweens will be unpredictable. That’s developmentally normal. But if they’re consistently checked out, self-isolating, or saying things that are out of character for them, that may mean this is more than a bad day.

Red flag behaviors to watch:

Drastic shifts in sleep
Increased or decreased appetite
Poor hygiene
Withdrawal from friends or activities they used to love

6. Encourage coping tools that suit their needs

Not every young person wants to journal or meditate. Some might prefer music, movement, gaming breaks, baking, or hanging with the dog. Help them explore healthy outlets and remind them that it’s okay not to feel okay, but that they might want to do something with those feelings.

Try this: Help them brainstorm a list of ways to feel better when life feels overwhelming.

💙 If your kid is open to meditation or mindfulness, share the Mindfulness for Kids (ages 11-13) or Mindfulness for Teens (ages 14-17) series with Tamara Levitt.

7. Make your home a low-shame zone

If your child opens up to you about something that feels unusual or something you don’t understand, be sure not to judge them or show disapproval. Don’t panic, and don’t use it later as ammo. If they share something deeply personal or embarrassing, say thank you. Even if what they said scares you or feels hard to accept, they trust you, and that’s huge.

Try this: “Thanks for telling me. That was really brave. I’m here to figure it out with you.”

8. Get curious about their world, even if it’s not your thing

You might not understand their pop culture reference or obsession with the latest TikTok trend, but showing interest in their world shows them that they matter to you. Ask questions. Let them teach you something. Be open to learning from them, not just about them. This can strengthen your bond.

9. Know when to bring in reinforcements

You are not your child’s therapist, and you don’t have to be. If things feel bigger than you can hold, or you feel like you’re out of your depth, it’s okay to seek professional support. Many children attend therapy for various reasons. There’s no shame in it.

Try this: Pediatricians, school counselors, and local youth mental health centers are great places to get resources for mental health services for kids.

10. Take care of yourself, too

You can’t pour from an empty cup. Supporting your own mental health needs to be a priority. Make sure you’re getting enough rest, breathing, and confiding in other adults. Practice self-care in the ways that feel good to you. The steadier you are, the safer your kids will feel.

Remember: You don’t need to be calm all the time, but you do need to return to calm when it counts.

💙 Practice self-care when your mental health feels rocky with this two-minute breathwork exercise, Relax with the Breath.

Youth mental health FAQs

How do I talk with my kids about their mental health?

Start small, stay calm, and don’t wait for the perfect moment, because it doesn’t exist. The best conversations often happen sideways, not head-on. That means in the car, during a walk, or while folding laundry together.

You don’t need to launch into a deep monologue. Try something simple, like, “Hey, you’ve seemed kind of quiet lately. How are things going?” Then let the silence breathe. Even if they shrug you off the first time, you’ve opened the door, and that matters.

Keep showing up. Keep asking, gently. You’re planting seeds of trust that can bloom later.

How can I tell the difference between normal teenage mood swings and a mental health issue?

It’s totally normal for tweens and teens to be moody, emotional, or suddenly obsessed with everything from frogs to existential dread. Puberty is basically the brain’s renovation season — it’s loud and unpredictable.

But if the “off” behavior is lasting more than a couple of weeks, getting more intense, or interfering with school, friendships, sleep, or basic self-care, that’s your signal to look a little closer. Trust your gut. If something feels different than their usual ups and downs, or if they just don’t seem like themselves, lean in.

You don’t need to diagnose anything. You just need to care enough to say, “Hey, I’ve noticed some changes. Want to talk?”

Can mental health problems in young people go away without treatment?

Sometimes, yes, but they don’t often just vanish on their own. Kids might learn to hide it better, or distract themselves with busyness or humor, but that doesn’t mean the underlying issue has healed.

And even if symptoms do fade, having someone to talk to (whether that’s a therapist, school counselor, or trusted adult) can give them the tools to cope the next time things get hard.

How do I support my child if they’re resistant to talking about their feelings?

Not every tween or teen wants to dive into a heart-to-heart about their inner world, especially if they’re still figuring it out themselves. The key is to keep the door open without forcing it. Let them know you’re there, and make emotional conversations a normal, no-big-deal thing.

You could say, “You don’t have to talk now, but I’m always here if you change your mind.” Then follow through by staying present, listening when they do talk (even about random stuff), and never weaponizing what they share. It’s about building safety, not pressure.

What role does school play in supporting youth mental health?

Young people spend most of their waking hours at school, so what happens there—academically, socially, emotionally—can seriously impact their mental health. The good news is, many schools have counselors, psychologists, wellness programs, or safe spaces designed to help.

The not-so-good news is that access and quality can vary wildly. If you’re concerned, it’s okay to reach out to a teacher, school nurse, or guidance counselor. You’re not being overbearing — you’re being proactive. Partnering with the school can open up resources, create support plans, and make sure your tween or teen isn’t navigating things alone.

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youth mental health

Calm Editorial Team