Why feeling schadenfreude is more common than you think

Mental Health

Oct 16

Written By Calm Editorial Team

Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA

Ever felt a little joy at someone else’s misfortune? Discover what schadenfreude is, why it happens, and how to respond when it comes up (without the guilt).

Picture this: You’re in a meeting and your most arrogant coworker—the one who always puts you down in front of your boss—stumbles over a key slide during a big presentation. Sure, you feel sorry for them, but if you’re being honest, seeing them struggle is a little thrilling.

That flicker of satisfaction at someone else’s setback has a name: schadenfreude.

While it’s easy to feel guilt over schadenfreude, it’s more common than you might think. Still, many people wonder what it says about them. Does feeling good about someone else’s failure mean you’re vindictive or mean-spirited?

The short answer is no. We’ll explore what schadenfreude is, where it comes from, and why it surfaces in everyday life.

What does schadenfreude mean?

The word schadenfreude comes from the German words “schaden,” which means damage or harm, and “freud” which means joy. The literal translation is “joy in harm.” It describes the spark of satisfaction or relief that comes when someone else makes a mistake or stumbles.

At its core, schadenfreude is a quick, emotional response that sheds light on how you process social dynamics.

7 examples of schadenfreude

Schadenfreude shows up in countless little moments every day. Here are a few scenarios when you might have felt a little smug:

Workplace moments: The colleague who constantly interrupts you gets corrected during a meeting
Sports rivalries: Your rival’s team loses, even if your own team didn’t win
Traffic karma: You watch the car that cut you off get pulled over just minutes later
Celebrity culture: An influencer’s curated perfection cracks
Sibling dynamics: Your brother or sister gets called out for the very thing you were just scolded for
Entertainment: The movie villain gets caught in the end
Everyday slips: A friend who teased you for your clumsiness trips on the same step you did

While some examples of schadenfreude can be harmless or fun, others reveal deeper layers of envy or competition. That’s why understanding schadenfreude isn’t about labeling it as good or bad, but about noticing when and why it shows up. The meaning underneath it is crucial.

Is feeling schadenfreude normal?

Yes. Psychologists have found that schadenfreude is normal and present across all cultures and age groups. It can even show up in early childhood. For example, toddlers as young as two years old may feel satisfaction when their misbehaving sibling is scolded.

Researchers believe schadenfreude actually serves a social purpose. Humans navigate community by comparing and tracking fairness and status, so if someone at the top of their game stumbles, you might feel like balance has been restored.

Still, schadenfreude is usually brief. It’s not the same as wishing harm on others, and it doesn’t cancel out your capacity for empathy. For example, you can smirk at someone’s stumble and still care about their overall wellbeing. Humans are emotionally complex, and schadenfreude is a regular part of that.

How to respond to schadenfreude: 6 tips for mindful awareness

Because schadenfreude is a normal part of daily life, the goal isn’t to suppress it. Instead, just notice it with curiosity and decide how you want to respond. Here are some ways to do just that.

1. Notice the feeling without judgment

When schadenfreude bubbles up, it’s tempting to try to shut it down or feel guilty about it. But judgment only adds another layer of shame. Instead, try acknowledging it like you would any other emotion.

By doing this often enough, you’ll come to peace with it, realizing that schadenfreude isn’t inherently harmful.

💙 Go deeper into your feelings with Prof. Megan Reitz’s Emotions Check In meditation.

2. Ask what’s underneath

Schadenfreude usually has its roots in a deeper feeling, and it’s worth exploring what it is. Understanding the “why” behind the emotion can help you meet your needs.

For example, if you feel good when a friend’s vacation plans fall through, ask yourself if it’s because they always flaunt their trips or because you can’t take time off.

💙 This Clarify Your Feelings Through Writing exercise with Julie Smith can help you dig deeper into your psyche.

3. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes

It’s one thing to feel a flash of satisfaction when someone fails, but it’s another to reduce a person to their failure. Once you notice schadenfreude, balance it by remembering that the other person is human and capable of pain, embarrassment, and growth.

Imagining how you’d want others to see you if the roles were reversed can help.

4. Keep it playful, not harmful

Some forms of schadenfreude are harmless (like laughing at a sitcom character’s downfall), but it can also slide into cruelty. For example, it’s one thing to chuckle when a boastful celebrity flubs a line on live TV, but it’s another to repost the clip with mocking comments.

If you find yourself wanting to amplify someone’s embarrassment, that’s a cue to pause.

5. Use the feeling as motivation

Instead of sitting in schadenfreude, see if you can reframe the feeling into something useful. Sometimes, another person’s mistake highlights that everyone is fallible, and other times, it can spark self-reflection about your own goals.

For instance, if a colleague leaves a typo in an important email, you might double-check your own work to make sure you don’t do the same thing.

6. Practice self-compassion

Feeling schadenfreude makes you human. Instead of beating yourself up, remind yourself that emotions are signals — not verdicts on your character. The fact that you’re even reflecting on schadenfreude means you care about how you show up in the world.

If you notice a sense of guilt come up when you feel schadenfreude, stop the spiral with a grounding phrase. Try saying, “This is a normal human reaction. I can choose how I respond.” To return to baseline, you could also try the 5-4-3-2-1 method.

💙 Learn how to be more gentle with yourself with the Radical Self-Compassion meditation with Tara Brach.

Schadenfreude FAQs

What is the meaning of schadenfreude?

Schadenfreude is the feeling of pleasure, satisfaction, or relief that arises when someone else experiences a setback, failure, or misfortune. It comes from the German words schaden (which means harm) and freude (which means joy).

It’s usually a fleeting emotion rather than a deep-seated wish for someone else’s pain. For example, you might feel it when a boastful classmate stumbles, a rival team loses, or an arrogant character in a movie finally gets what’s coming to them.

While it can sometimes be about cruelty, more often than not, it’s about feeling relief that a sense of balance or justice is being restored.

Is feeling schadenfreude wrong?

Not at all. Feeling schadenfreude doesn’t make you a bad person. Research shows it’s a universal response that emerges in childhood and serves social functions, like reinforcing fairness or easing feelings of envy.

What matters isn’t the fact that schadenfreude shows up in the first place: it’s all about how you respond to it. After all, laughing privately at a clumsy moment is very different from celebrating someone else’s suffering in a way that causes them harm.

What’s an example of schadenfreude in everyday life?

Everyday schadenfreude often shows up in small, relatable ways. Maybe you smirked when the person who cut the grocery store line got told off by the cashier, or you felt a spark of satisfaction when a competitive coworker didn't land the project they were boasting about.

These moments are often quick, sometimes funny, and typically harmless.

Is schadenfreude always a bad emotion to feel?

Schadenfreude isn’t inherently bad, but it does depend on the context. In some cases, it can reinforce your sense of fairness when someone arrogant or unkind has been humbled. It can also lighten tense situations.

But it’s important to note that it can become unhealthy if it turns malicious or motivates you to act cruelly. Like most emotions, schadenfreude is just a signal: what you choose to do with it determines whether it helps or harms.

Why do people feel good about others’ failures?

There are a few psychological explanations for this. Sometimes, it’s envy — you’re pleased that someone else’s setback temporarily levels the playing field. Other times, it’s about justice, especially if the person was being unkind.

It’s also often tied to group dynamics. When someone from a rival “side” loses, it feels like a win for your own group — especially in sports. Neuroscience studies even show the brain’s reward system activates during moments of schadenfreude, which is similar to how it lights up when you experience personal success. It’s part of how your brain processes competition, fairness, and social comparison.

Calm your mind. Change your life.

Mental health is hard. Getting support doesn't have to be. The Calm app puts the tools to feel better in your back pocket, with personalized content to manage stress and anxiety, get better sleep, and feel more present in your life.

schadenfreude

Calm Editorial Team