Why kindness matters (and 14 ways to practice it today)

Relationships

Aug 28

Written By Calm Editorial Team

Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA

There’s real power in being kind. Here’s why kindness matters for mental health, connection, and even physical wellness, plus 14 ways to practice it daily.

Think about the last time someone showed you a small, unexpected act of kindness. Maybe a stranger held the door open for you when your hands were full, or a friend texted “thinking of you” at exactly the right moment. It probably didn’t solve your biggest problems, but it shifted something… didn’t it? That’s the power of kindness — it has a way of softening the edges of a hard day.

But even though you know it’s great to spread kindness to others, it can sometimes feel out of reach. You may be frustrated at a work meeting or dealing with your child’s meltdown, and not feeling particularly kind. Luckily, kindness isn’t a personality trait — it’s a skill, and offering it (even if it feels small or imperfect) can replenish your resources.

Let’s walk through why kindness matters, how it can help both the giver and receiver, and some simple ways to bring a little kindness into your daily life (because it matters).

Why does kindness matter?

Kindness is often treated like a bonus personality trait — sweet, but not essential. But research says otherwise. Acts of kindness activate the brain’s reward system, reduce stress, and even lower blood pressure. Psychologists have found that being kind isn’t just good for the person on the receiving end, but that it boosts mood and resilience for the person giving it, too. It’s biology’s way of rewarding us for staying connected to each other.

Whether it’s offering compassion to a friend, holding space for a partner, or simply giving yourself a little grace on a rough day, kindness is a survival tool. It strengthens relationships, nurtures our mental health, and helps create communities that feel less lonely.

Here’s what the research really says about giving and receiving kindness, and why it matters more than you might think.

7 benefits of giving and receiving kindness

Improved mood: Kindness is a natural mood booster. In fact, functional MRI scans show that acts of generosity light up the same reward centers in the brain as chocolate or winning money.
Reduced stress: Kindness has been shown to lower cortisol, one of the hormones responsible for your fight-or-flight response. Even brief moments of warmth or empathy can help reset your nervous system and reduce physical symptoms of stress, like muscle tension or headaches.
Stronger relationships: Kindness signals to others that you’re safe, supportive, and willing to show up, which makes it easier to deepen bonds and repair conflict when it arises.
Physical health support: Repeated studies link kindness with better immune function, lower blood pressure, and even a longer lifespan. It turns out that being good to others can also be good for your heart (literally).
Less loneliness: In moments of isolation or disconnection, small gestures can remind you that you’re part of a larger social fabric.
Better self-esteem: When you act in ways that feel generous or caring, it reinforces a positive sense of identity. This is especially key during times of self-doubt.
Contagious effects: Seeing someone else act kindly often inspires other people to pay it forward. It creates a ripple effect that can travel further than you realize, and it all starts with one small choice.

How to be more kind: 14 ways to show kindness daily

Kindness takes practice, and it can be accessible even on tough days. Grand gestures are great, but simple acts of kindness often leave a lingering mark. For some suggestions, take a look at these actions below.

1. Start small and specific

A general “Let me know if you need anything” is generous in spirit, but often, people don’t really know how to respond, or might feel uncomfortable asking you for a favor.

Clear, concrete offers make it easier for people to say yes, and when it’s specific enough, it removes decision fatigue for the person who’s already stretched thin. It shows you’ve already thought about what might actually help, and that thoughtfulness can feel as comforting as the gesture itself.

Here are some simple ways to get specific when offering kindness to another:

“I’m free Tuesday. Want me to drop off a meal or take something off your plate?”
“Would it help to talk, vent, or just watch a show together?”

💙 Experiment with different ways of checking in during the Curiosity Builds Connection session with Jay Shetty.

2. Notice what someone needs — and offer it before they ask

Often, the most meaningful support is the kind that doesn’t require anyone to ask for it. If your partner dreads unloading the dishwasher, do it quietly. If a friend is deep in a tough season, send groceries, offer childcare, or text them a meme that you know will make them laugh.

Small, preemptive actions can lift a weight they didn’t have the energy to name, and it shows you’re perceptive to their needs.

3. Make appreciation part of your routine

Gratitude doesn’t have to wait for big milestones. A quick thank-you for a coworker’s thoughtful email, telling your child you love their curiosity, or letting a friend know their steady presence carried you through a rough week might sound like simple acknowledgements to you, but they matter deeply to the other person.

They remind people that they matter, even when there isn’t something grand to celebrate.

💙 Learn how to practice appreciation every day during the 7 Days of Gratitude series with Tamara Levitt.

4. Check in with no strings attached

Not every text needs an answer. Sometimes, just sending a reel or “thinking of you” text to brighten someone’s day says more than a perfectly crafted message.

These small, low-demand check-ins tell people you’re there for them without adding another obligation to their list. Gentle presence is key here.

5. Offer grace when someone drops the ball

When someone doesn’t respond or follow through, it’s easy to assume the worst. But most of the time, it’s not about you.

Most likely, they’re overwhelmed, distracted, or running on empty. You don’t have to ignore your own needs, but offering grace instead of frustration can turn defensiveness into relief. That relief leads to reconnection.

6. Hold the door or make room in public spaces

A simple gesture, like holding a door, stepping aside, or helping someone with too many bags, will only take you a few seconds. But to the person who’s juggling more than they can carry, it’s a reminder that the world can still be gentle.

These small acts of spatial generosity cost nothing, and often create tiny moments of relief for the person you’re helping.

7. Offer a compliment to a stranger

If you admire someone’s jacket or the calm way they handled a tricky moment with their child, say so. Compliments from strangers are often the ones people carry the longest because they land without expectation, which makes them feel unexpectedly honest.

8. Let someone go ahead of you

Lines can be stressful, and what costs you 30 seconds might save someone else 10 essential minutes in their day.

Let people go ahead of you at the grocery store, in traffic, or at the coffee shop. These tiny, almost invisible acts of generosity add up and soften the edges of everyday life.

9. Practice “invisible kindness”

Not every good deed needs a spotlight, and people don’t necessarily have to know it’s you who made their day easier.

Wipe down the shared microwave. Refill the printer paper. Stack someone’s dishes in the sink. These quiet gestures often create the kind of environment where everyone feels more at ease, even if no one can pinpoint why.

10. Speak up when someone’s being mistreated

Kindness also includes protecting others. If it feels safe, step in with a calm interruption.

A simple, “Hey, that’s not okay,” or “Give them some space” can be powerful. It helps to interrupt the harm and signal that someone else is paying attention.

11. Name what someone does well at work

We often save feedback for what needs fixing. But naming what’s working—like a teammate’s attention to detail or a colleague’s steady presence in meetings— can be just as important. Thoughtful feedback can make people feel valued and reassure them that their actions don’t go unnoticed.

12. Step in when someone needs a break

Whether it’s covering a shift, taking notes for someone who can’t make a meeting, or giving a colleague five minutes to collect themselves, these gestures often ripple outward.

One small break can be the thing that helps someone keep going through a stressful day.

13. Be mindful of how you give feedback to others

Honesty and kindness don’t cancel each other out: You can be both. Try framing feedback as “Here’s what I appreciated, and here’s where I think we could go next.”

It’s a way of holding people accountable, while also holding them with care.

💙 Explore the benefits of Kind Communication with Tamara Levitt.

14. Leave things better than you found them

This tip doesn’t just apply to cleaning up in physical spaces. It’s also true for shared documents, group chats, and Slack threads.

Tidying up—digitally or otherwise—is a quiet act of respect. It signals that you value the space you share with other people.

Why kindness matters FAQs

Why does kindness matter so much right now?

We’re living through a time of collective stress. Think: burnout, disconnection, economic uncertainty, and a nonstop flow of bad news.

Kindness can be the antidote, reminding us that we’re still capable of care. Small gestures still matter, and we’re not alone. When the world feels too heavy or uncertain, kindness can ground us in shared humanity and give us a sense of agency.

You may not be able to fix everything, but you can still make someone’s day a little easier. That matters.

What are some easy ways to show kindness?

There are simple ways you can show kindness that can still make a difference in someone’s day. Offer a friend a quick check-in when you know they’re going through a hard time, help a neighbor carry their groceries up the stairs, or give someone space when they’re clearly overwhelmed.

If you’re really short on energy, consider something inward-facing to show kindness to yourself first. Resist self-criticism, give yourself permission to rest, or pause before reacting. These small shifts are often the most sustainable, and they can quickly add up.

Does being kind benefit your health?

Yes, very much so. Studies show that both giving and receiving kindness can lower stress hormones, reduce blood pressure, and improve immune response. Kindness activates the body’s natural “feel-good” chemistry, including oxytocin and serotonin.

Over time, these effects can support cardiovascular health, mental wellbeing, and even longevity. You don’t have to overhaul your life to feel the benefits, either. Regular, consistent moments of connection and care are enough.

How does kindness strengthen relationships?

Kindness creates emotional safety. It shows the people around you that they matter to you.

That feeling builds trust and connection, even when things get difficult. In romantic relationships, particularly, kindness helps partners stay attuned to each other’s needs, so conflicts are easier to navigate.

In friendships and communities, it fosters belonging. And in casual interactions, it helps people feel seen… often when they need it the most.

What if I’m too burned out to be kind?

That’s valid, and it’s more common than you might think. If your tank is empty, kindness might feel out of reach. In those moments, start with self-kindness: drink some water, step away from screens, or give yourself permission not to respond right away.

Instead of thinking that kindness consists of forcing yourself to perform emotional labor you don’t have the capacity for, reframe it. In actuality, kindness involves moving through the world with as much care as you can offer in that moment, even (and often especially) if that care is directed inward.

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Calm Editorial Team